I just turned 51. I now have hypertension. I need a single purpose to take me through the end of my years. I am a creator. I like to write, do art, and sewing. I have been helping people over the years with technology, resources, and basic comprehension of things that they need to do to keep their life going smoothly. I have went through substance use conditions and behavioral health struggles. Now that I am working on internal and external healing. What should I do at this milestone?
I have been trying to de service by giving back to the homeless community and sitting on boards to help with conditions that others struggle with. I have provided my story as a testament and still want to share my continuous struggle with others to let them know that they can get better. I have 4 years of clean time in my recovery and constantly focus on my behavioral health to keep myself balanced. I have gotten trained to work as a person with lived experienced and I am not sure if this is still the direction I need to continue with.
I have been apart of two different creative venues. I am a member of a community art studio. I am following steps to improve my art adventures and can become a professional artist on this line activities. I really would like to be seen as a creative and be respected as a worthy person for people to my art. I enjoy the challenges that I have been over coming. This could be an awesome career to pursue.
When I started my recovery and abstinence of drug use, I joined a writing group for people who have hard times. This group offered a safe space and allowed me to remove all the remorse and hurt into a form of writing. Then I started writing my stories, learning new writing styles, and making friends. Ultimately, I took a few extra workshops and found that I could write pretty good. I have published some poems and stories. I have a few stories that I would like to turn into a book. I could work on a writing career.
I had bought a sewing machine and I was sewing pouches, mending clothes, and making bowl cozies. My machine broke and so I decided to purchase a new one. I got in touch with my dad and decided to go visit him. He was 88 and I wanted closure before it was to late to show I loved him. The following 6 months we talked a couple of times a week. Some days were just fixing his TV over and over again. I bought him things that he said he asked his niece for but didn’t get. I also sewed him things because I had become better at sewing. The pandemic hit and changed everything. He was sick on Monday and I got a call on Saturday from a cousin saying that he was gone. He had gotten a respiratory illness on Wednesday, Pneumonia on Friday, then he was gone, incinerated and I was hurt. I started grieve but my friends mom had died, an old friend’s dad had just died first, then, more deaths followed. I was making masks, helping people grieve and I got overwhelmed. Sewing started soothing me. I made more masks for friends and family. Mending blankets, pants, and curtains for friends. I also decided that I was going to start up-cycling. I can now do so basic clothing patterns, bag/purse patterns, and quilts. I sew for therapy mostly but I would like to sell some of my items too. I would like to have a work from home biz with my creative items.
So I am using this blog like a diary, an outlet of my hopes and dreams. I am sharing things that interest me and new stuff that I have learned. I like sharing my struggles, adventures, and my life.