Blog

A Flash

Day 4: Seconds

One minute I am looking for cars and within seconds there is one passing by my foot!

A group of us is talking pleasantly about children and in a flash things are being thrown around the room.

One second a girl is watching the road then a text beeps, she looks at here phone, not even reading it just because the sound started her and now there is a car crash.

I am in a cell phone store looking at her phone and in a few seconds, someone is there with a gun not yelling but saying to lay down.

Plenty of things can happen in seconds whether we know it or not but it is important to pay attention.

Where Am I?

Day 3: Sleep

I go to sleep most nights and wake up not know where I am or where I’ve been and who was with me.

I lie in the grass where I am surrounded by these dandelions realizing that I can make a necklace. I am somewhere from my past where there were other children my age. Where am I?

There is this wonderful broken road that was important enough to build around the mountain, but now it moves through a piece of the mountain. It is near the ocean, but being makes it a special place. Where am I?

I am moving slowly up and up with a clickety click and swoosh, I am going down at so fast my eyes are watering. I am spinning and finally my stomach catches up to me. Where am I?

I see amazing buildings older than my country. I smell sweets that I have never lived around. I see a palace with mirrors all around me. Where am I?

I lie feeling warm yet cold and smell the air. I hear rushing water and a train passing by. Where am I?

I open my eyes and realize that I was asleep dreaming of past times. I am camping at a park with a stream near the train because it was hidden. I was in my sleeping bag in my tent. While being homeless, I realized that having a good camp spot can make a world of a difference in getting good rest.

Award Winning Developer, Bethesda, Of Fallout 4 & Skyrim Expands Studio

Source: Award Winning Developer, Bethesda, Of Fallout 4 & Skyrim Expands Studio

Messy

Day 2: Reflections

My room is a mess.

I have clothes that need to be cleaned. I have clothes that don’t fit. I have clothes I don’t wear. I have trash to throw out. I need to organize everything in this room.

My living room is a mess.

I have trash on the desk. I have a dirty carpet. I have no seating arrangements. I have not decorated. I need to make this room as an office or entertaining room but organize it.

My kitchen is a mess.

I have dirty counters that need cleaning. I have a floor that is dirty. I have cabinets untidy. I have a refrigerator that has to be emptied, cleaned, and reorganized.

My hair is a mess.

I have no style in my hair. I have to clean and deep condition it. I have not cut or trimmed it. I need an organized natural hair style.

Messy isn’t who I am.

I am not a messy person, I just have messy habits. I want to be organized in all I do to function properly. Patience and endurance can bring me to an organized me.

A Dirty Job

Wring 101:  Day 1: Magic

Cleaning Apartment

Cleaning my apartment is hard to do.

I live alone and answer my phone

and always eat lots of food.

I always think of ways to clean

but never get it done

my friends seem to be mean,

but I sit all day on my bum.

 

Becoming Homeless

Why Do People Become Homeless?

camping out

Lately in my apartment building, there have been plenty of people that have lost their homes. I can count at least 7 this year that I know personally. I know that it is hard to maintain a place when you are used to being on the streets or coming from the homeless community.

Most of the people that lived in this building that I knew had previously been homeless, had mental conditions, and/or had substant abuse issues. When someone becomes homeless, most people have had a bad experience that got them there. Once homeless for two years or more these people start to develop additional issues and conditions that may be hard to fix. For example, some people have a bipolar disorder. While these people with bipolar can be treated, they are homeless and it makes it hard to work on the condition with medical assistance on a consistent due to no permanent residence. After awhile, they start to self-medicate (abuse substances) to ease the condition.

Kicked out!

Now the homeless have a chance for a place “Alone” and are expected with case management to function normally. I agree that this sounds great to an outsider looking in. Case management can help the few people that don’t need tons of supervision and help to do normal tasks but resources for additional assistance. For example, these almost normal people just need to utilize additional assistance (food banks, utility assistance, and rental assistance) to stay afloat. Unfortunately, most of the people that come from the homeless community also need routine mental help, schedule weekly contact on what a normal person does.

At the end of the day, most of these previously homeless clients are creating habits that are bound to cause a loss of their residence. I think case management should monitor them for at least six months and then recommend accordingly. Most of the case management have such a large workload that they don’t have time for such individual attention. There are groups available for people who really want to progress but by the time they realize it is necessary, they are in the process of losing their place.

Eviction

I have often thought there should be a group or program to teach residents coming from a homeless community how or what to expect to be normal again. For example, having a monthly budget and how to slowly interact with a community, and finding a project to take up some wasted time to prevent substance abuse. I think they all, of course, take a computer class.

 

Things that Sync

I was reading my emails when I saw a link that lead to a Good House Keeping article about childhood stars and where are they now. I then went to the room because I was sleepy. I turned the tv on and the show “Family Ties” was on. Later that evening I saw him in a show called, “The Good Wife”.

I called my mother and told her about the incident. She remembered that the other day I read off names of actors/actresses that were still alive from her era. She asked about Katherine Hepburn and mentioned that her sister played on a show with Jackie Gleason. I said it was called the “Honey Mooners”. A little later I was talking to another person when that show came on. I saw the woman and her name was Audrey but she had a different last name. So I took a picture and sent it to my mom’s phone.

I bought a lotto ticket because I thought I would win. It seems like that wasn’t just good luck, it just was a lot of coincidences in one day. Maybe one day I’ll actually win the lottery randomly that would be awesome.

A Way to Relax

I watch YouTube videos sometimes to get away from stress. I like playing video games, but I need to play more. I only have a PC to play on and I only play free games. So as you can see my choices are limited to what I can play that I would enjoy. I usually watch other players, like AntDaGamer, to get into the game. He plays the way I would and makes it enjoyable. Here is a video from one of his games that everyone is playing even Conan O’Brien:

What makes me watch him is that he does like to play several games until he finishes it. It is almost like I played it. I play mobile games too, but nothing compares to a large screen playing a game. I may post more videos like this when I am enjoying a gameplay.

Visions

One day I am hanging with some friends at a bar. I see an extremely attractive guy there. He had been drinking a bit too much. He ran to the restroom and when he returned I noticed he had forgotten to remove his outer garments. I then realized I had to go to the restroom. Obviously, I had forgotten to lock the door because the drunk guy came in. Luckily, I had finished and washing my hands. He made advances but he wasn’t standing good and I immediately ran out of the restroom. He ordered drinks for everyone.

While we were toasting to things we couldn’t understand, he grabbed his keys and said his good-byes. That is when it hit me! I had a vision of him driving home, but hitting a tree and dying. I saw it so clearly that it made me jump. So being scared of the vision, I decided to act on it. I will advise people never to do this.

I followed him out to his car while ignoring the advice of my friends to leave him alone. I try to convince him to let me take him home, but he wanted his car. So I opted to drive his car. This was a big mistake. He made references to driving his stick-drive car. This was a ten-minute drive, but he was able to strip his clothes off during the drive. In his driveway, I know that if a car came I could just jump out and go down the street. Unfortunately, he didn’t care and started following me down the street. What made him stop was I started to run because I knew drunk people don’t like to run drunk.

I just made a post about something similar I wrote called, “Running the Streets“. I started writing this post first because of yesterday’s events. This happened about five years ago, but I have learned my lesson on not to help men in need. I think my weakness of wanting to help people causes me to put myself in dangerous issues. By the way, I called my friends to just come pick me up.

 

 

Running the Streets

I started the day tired from a late night. I had a few friends in my house and they left an hour before me. I had an appointment that was an hour and a half away. I missed my first bus. I didn’t let that discourage me from keeping good spirits. As I waited we saw a 6 car pile up because of the slippery ice. I had someone to keep me company on the first bus and then I had someone who talked with me on the second bus so it made the time go fast. Afterwards, I headed home and wrote the last blog as I travelled.

When I got off the bus I started heading to the store to cash a check when a guy asked for a cigarette. I said I was gonna buy one for my neighbor so he walked with. He said he just got homeless which, of course, made me more sympathetic. At the store I realize I couldn’t give him a cigarette from my neighbor. So I got him his own pack but he stayed with me. I got a tv from a pawn shop and he asked to hang out for awhile at my house and I said I am not in the mood to entertain because I have been gone since noon. It is about 6:30 pm and I offered to buy dinner. I let him come in to carry my tv, but he asked for a hug. I thought maybe he is feeling bad, but there was an ulterior motive. I immediately left my place and bought dinner at 7-11 so that I could end the visit.

My heart is big when it comes to homeless people because of my experience of homelessness. I know this was a bad thing to do, having him in my home, but it was only for ten minutes. I was firm and he did appreciate the food. We sat at 7-11 and eat then I said good night. I feel sorry for people that want to take advantage of people. I would have given him bus fare to go downtown where the shelters were, but he didn’t want it.

I ended my night by washing a load of clothes. I watched some tv in my bed and I thought that it was important to reflect on my actions in a positive way.