Cheap Fare

Farewell to my fare
Goodbye to cheap travel
Trips downtown wil be rare
And my world may unravel.

Farewell to leisure time
And enjoying the outdoor
At home out of my mind
Laying around on the floor

Staying in my place
Just being bored
While the world goes by
Not even going to the store.

The fare will change
I have to adjust
I may take a trip
But notin a rush.

I need to budget
To get a pass
Or say farewell bus
I’m home alas.

Who I Love

Day 7: Beloved

You warm up my heart and my soul is overjoyed.

I feel like I am in a garden of sunflowers and it is snowing.

When you are near me, I want to frolic everywhere.

You are like a video game that lets me level up all the time.

You remind me of a seasoned tri-tip waiting for my teeth to sink in.

You are my beloved and I can not be with out you.

 

Sweets and Chocolate

Day 6: Fallacy

snickers

If you go to the store and get a candy bar

I hope the trip isn’t long or you went to far.

I like Halloween because of the candy,

but I would rather have ice cream because it is handy.

skittles

On Easter, there are eggs and Jellybeans,

but skittles have all the colors and shimmery beams.

O chocolate, o chocolate, where art thou?

I would put you on my face and a lifted brow.

In My 40’s

Day 5: Freedom

I am free because my children are grown and I only have me to take care of.

I am free because I don’t have to eat vegetables, I can supplement veggies.

I am free to walk around my apartment in my underwear.

I am free to write on my blog all day long. I am free to snack and watch TV.

I am free to exercise all day and go straight to bed.

I am free to work all day and night if I like. I am free to do nothing.

I am free to play video games until my thumbs get calluses.

Not everyone has freedom and I am appreciative for it which means no one is going to take it away from me because I am free.

free

Where Am I?

Day 3: Sleep

I go to sleep most nights and wake up not know where I am or where I’ve been and who was with me.

I lie in the grass where I am surrounded by these dandelions realizing that I can make a necklace. I am somewhere from my past where there were other children my age. Where am I?

There is this wonderful broken road that was important enough to build around the mountain, but now it moves through a piece of the mountain. It is near the ocean, but being makes it a special place. Where am I?

I am moving slowly up and up with a clickety click and swoosh, I am going down at so fast my eyes are watering. I am spinning and finally my stomach catches up to me. Where am I?

I see amazing buildings older than my country. I smell sweets that I have never lived around. I see a palace with mirrors all around me. Where am I?

I lie feeling warm yet cold and smell the air. I hear rushing water and a train passing by. Where am I?

I open my eyes and realize that I was asleep dreaming of past times. I am camping at a park with a stream near the train because it was hidden. I was in my sleeping bag in my tent. While being homeless, I realized that having a good camp spot can make a world of a difference in getting good rest.

Messy

Day 2: Reflections

My room is a mess.

I have clothes that need to be cleaned. I have clothes that don’t fit. I have clothes I don’t wear. I have trash to throw out. I need to organize everything in this room.

My living room is a mess.

I have trash on the desk. I have a dirty carpet. I have no seating arrangements. I have not decorated. I need to make this room as an office or entertaining room but organize it.

My kitchen is a mess.

I have dirty counters that need cleaning. I have a floor that is dirty. I have cabinets untidy. I have a refrigerator that has to be emptied, cleaned, and reorganized.

My hair is a mess.

I have no style in my hair. I have to clean and deep condition it. I have not cut or trimmed it. I need an organized natural hair style.

Messy isn’t who I am.

I am not a messy person, I just have messy habits. I want to be organized in all I do to function properly. Patience and endurance can bring me to an organized me.

Visions

One day I am hanging with some friends at a bar. I see an extremely attractive guy there. He had been drinking a bit too much. He ran to the restroom and when he returned I noticed he had forgotten to remove his outer garments. I then realized I had to go to the restroom. Obviously, I had forgotten to lock the door because the drunk guy came in. Luckily, I had finished and washing my hands. He made advances but he wasn’t standing good and I immediately ran out of the restroom. He ordered drinks for everyone.

While we were toasting to things we couldn’t understand, he grabbed his keys and said his good-byes. That is when it hit me! I had a vision of him driving home, but hitting a tree and dying. I saw it so clearly that it made me jump. So being scared of the vision, I decided to act on it. I will advise people never to do this.

I followed him out to his car while ignoring the advice of my friends to leave him alone. I try to convince him to let me take him home, but he wanted his car. So I opted to drive his car. This was a big mistake. He made references to driving his stick-drive car. This was a ten-minute drive, but he was able to strip his clothes off during the drive. In his driveway, I know that if a car came I could just jump out and go down the street. Unfortunately, he didn’t care and started following me down the street. What made him stop was I started to run because I knew drunk people don’t like to run drunk.

I just made a post about something similar I wrote called, “Running the Streets“. I started writing this post first because of yesterday’s events. This happened about five years ago, but I have learned my lesson on not to help men in need. I think my weakness of wanting to help people causes me to put myself in dangerous issues. By the way, I called my friends to just come pick me up.

 

 

Running the Streets

I started the day tired from a late night. I had a few friends in my house and they left an hour before me. I had an appointment that was an hour and a half away. I missed my first bus. I didn’t let that discourage me from keeping good spirits. As I waited we saw a 6 car pile up because of the slippery ice. I had someone to keep me company on the first bus and then I had someone who talked with me on the second bus so it made the time go fast. Afterwards, I headed home and wrote the last blog as I travelled.

When I got off the bus I started heading to the store to cash a check when a guy asked for a cigarette. I said I was gonna buy one for my neighbor so he walked with. He said he just got homeless which, of course, made me more sympathetic. At the store I realize I couldn’t give him a cigarette from my neighbor. So I got him his own pack but he stayed with me. I got a tv from a pawn shop and he asked to hang out for awhile at my house and I said I am not in the mood to entertain because I have been gone since noon. It is about 6:30 pm and I offered to buy dinner. I let him come in to carry my tv, but he asked for a hug. I thought maybe he is feeling bad, but there was an ulterior motive. I immediately left my place and bought dinner at 7-11 so that I could end the visit.

My heart is big when it comes to homeless people because of my experience of homelessness. I know this was a bad thing to do, having him in my home, but it was only for ten minutes. I was firm and he did appreciate the food. We sat at 7-11 and eat then I said good night. I feel sorry for people that want to take advantage of people. I would have given him bus fare to go downtown where the shelters were, but he didn’t want it.

I ended my night by washing a load of clothes. I watched some tv in my bed and I thought that it was important to reflect on my actions in a positive way.

Plans

My plan for my life is to have a house, to have my own business, and be happy helping others. The house would have two bedrooms, a basement, front yard, and back yard. My business could be selling my home-made products, technology tutoring, or content creator. I love helping people with problems, issues, or relationships. My plans haven’t worked as planned.

My House

I wanted a two bedroom for guests and myself.I would turn the living room into a partial office. Nowadays you don’t need a full office to function a full-time business. The basement would be the woman cave. I would have chairs that can be used for the theater or just video games. I might even have a pool table. The front yard I would have minimum grass but plenty of room for some type of shrubbery. The back yard would have a small garden, a sectioned area for the dog. In fact, I would have a customed built doghouse so the dog can be outside year round.of, course if it gets too cold I would have a spot in the garage for him because I hate hair all over the place. I would always decorate during the holidays.

I haven’t reached a conceivable income to buy a house. I may be able to get a two bedroom townhouse or condo. I keep forgetting which one has no yard. I could have the guest room and partial office. I can still decorate with wreaths on the holidays. I can get this small home if I want to by working really hard.

3 bed with basment

My Business 

I tried lots of different business ventures. I have tried selling Avon several times. I think it won’t be a part of the future like Tupperware, which I did too. I have done Amway and some others like that.I keep the Avon for me and my family to reorder  products we like. I have found out these types don’t work towards my plan.

I am trying content creation right now doing videos and blogging. The problem I am having is that you have to work on a schedule so that your content is consistent. I basically post about two to three videos a month when I should at least post at least once a week. I just started this blogging thing, but I haven’t quite figured out the right kind of content. I know most content creators do both.

I have had my sewing machine for a couple of years but haven’t really sewed anything. I love headbands. I wear them all the time and would like to create my own for sell. Also, I would like to redesign so clothing I get that is donated. I have the time to make plenty of things that I could give to people in need. I can get the sewing going by doing small projects, like headbands, then work my way up to larger items. I would love some suggestions.

Technology is really fun and exciting to me. People usually call me if they need help with their phone or computer. I have thought of consulting on a regular basis with clients that need continuous help. I have set up tutoring for free with neighbors, but they tend to take up hours at a time. I also create invoices and do research for the neighbors, of course, for free, but I thought of offering that as a service too. I love technology so much that I watch a three-hour radio show to learn more about it. I would love to do something with this.

Helping

There was a time in my life when I did a lot of relationship counseling. My friends would as advice from me. Once it was given, they would see the results and keep coming back. I set up a relationship blog, but I had no takers. I also give advice on relaxation and stress relief. I am not the expert, but I usually don’t stress or get mad. I have my technology as number one, next is Disney movies (they usually help),  if that doesn’t work, I will go somewhere that is calming. The idea is to clear your mind so that you can revisit the issues separately later.

Being homeless previously, I know there are a lot of people out there that don’t get the help they need. When I was going to school, I had to write an argument essay. It was about a problem with people getting additional assistance and a way to deliver it. My solution was a website that workers, clients, and volunteers could access and submit information. I haven’t created it because I need assistance combining the website with data. I had a resource page on one my websites, but that would not solve the problem. I know there are issues all over the country, but I would like to start small scale.

Resources

I believe I can find a resource online to walk me through how to set up a plan for each individual thought. I have looked into similar websites and site to help with creating a website for my city. It is a project by itself. As for a business, once I have made a good decision on which one I feel I can do for the rest of my life, I have an application for it. I have looked into the small home because I have been living in the for a few years and it is just starting to feel like home. Also, I need the income to start piling up first.

Feeback