A Way to Relax

I watch YouTube videos sometimes to get away from stress. I like playing video games, but I need to play more. I only have a PC to play on and I only play free games. So as you can see my choices are limited to what I can play that I would enjoy. I usually watch other players, like AntDaGamer, to get into the game. He plays the way I would and makes it enjoyable. Here is a video from one of his games that everyone is playing even Conan O’Brien:

What makes me watch him is that he does like to play several games until he finishes it. It is almost like I played it. I play mobile games too, but nothing compares to a large screen playing a game. I may post more videos like this when I am enjoying a gameplay.

Visions

One day I am hanging with some friends at a bar. I see an extremely attractive guy there. He had been drinking a bit too much. He ran to the restroom and when he returned I noticed he had forgotten to remove his outer garments. I then realized I had to go to the restroom. Obviously, I had forgotten to lock the door because the drunk guy came in. Luckily, I had finished and washing my hands. He made advances but he wasn’t standing good and I immediately ran out of the restroom. He ordered drinks for everyone.

While we were toasting to things we couldn’t understand, he grabbed his keys and said his good-byes. That is when it hit me! I had a vision of him driving home, but hitting a tree and dying. I saw it so clearly that it made me jump. So being scared of the vision, I decided to act on it. I will advise people never to do this.

I followed him out to his car while ignoring the advice of my friends to leave him alone. I try to convince him to let me take him home, but he wanted his car. So I opted to drive his car. This was a big mistake. He made references to driving his stick-drive car. This was a ten-minute drive, but he was able to strip his clothes off during the drive. In his driveway, I know that if a car came I could just jump out and go down the street. Unfortunately, he didn’t care and started following me down the street. What made him stop was I started to run because I knew drunk people don’t like to run drunk.

I just made a post about something similar I wrote called, “Running the Streets“. I started writing this post first because of yesterday’s events. This happened about five years ago, but I have learned my lesson on not to help men in need. I think my weakness of wanting to help people causes me to put myself in dangerous issues. By the way, I called my friends to just come pick me up.

 

 

Running the Streets

I started the day tired from a late night. I had a few friends in my house and they left an hour before me. I had an appointment that was an hour and a half away. I missed my first bus. I didn’t let that discourage me from keeping good spirits. As I waited we saw a 6 car pile up because of the slippery ice. I had someone to keep me company on the first bus and then I had someone who talked with me on the second bus so it made the time go fast. Afterwards, I headed home and wrote the last blog as I travelled.

When I got off the bus I started heading to the store to cash a check when a guy asked for a cigarette. I said I was gonna buy one for my neighbor so he walked with. He said he just got homeless which, of course, made me more sympathetic. At the store I realize I couldn’t give him a cigarette from my neighbor. So I got him his own pack but he stayed with me. I got a tv from a pawn shop and he asked to hang out for awhile at my house and I said I am not in the mood to entertain because I have been gone since noon. It is about 6:30 pm and I offered to buy dinner. I let him come in to carry my tv, but he asked for a hug. I thought maybe he is feeling bad, but there was an ulterior motive. I immediately left my place and bought dinner at 7-11 so that I could end the visit.

My heart is big when it comes to homeless people because of my experience of homelessness. I know this was a bad thing to do, having him in my home, but it was only for ten minutes. I was firm and he did appreciate the food. We sat at 7-11 and eat then I said good night. I feel sorry for people that want to take advantage of people. I would have given him bus fare to go downtown where the shelters were, but he didn’t want it.

I ended my night by washing a load of clothes. I watched some tv in my bed and I thought that it was important to reflect on my actions in a positive way.

Plans

My plan for my life is to have a house, to have my own business, and be happy helping others. The house would have two bedrooms, a basement, front yard, and back yard. My business could be selling my home-made products, technology tutoring, or content creator. I love helping people with problems, issues, or relationships. My plans haven’t worked as planned.

My House

I wanted a two bedroom for guests and myself.I would turn the living room into a partial office. Nowadays you don’t need a full office to function a full-time business. The basement would be the woman cave. I would have chairs that can be used for the theater or just video games. I might even have a pool table. The front yard I would have minimum grass but plenty of room for some type of shrubbery. The back yard would have a small garden, a sectioned area for the dog. In fact, I would have a customed built doghouse so the dog can be outside year round.of, course if it gets too cold I would have a spot in the garage for him because I hate hair all over the place. I would always decorate during the holidays.

I haven’t reached a conceivable income to buy a house. I may be able to get a two bedroom townhouse or condo. I keep forgetting which one has no yard. I could have the guest room and partial office. I can still decorate with wreaths on the holidays. I can get this small home if I want to by working really hard.

3 bed with basment

My Business 

I tried lots of different business ventures. I have tried selling Avon several times. I think it won’t be a part of the future like Tupperware, which I did too. I have done Amway and some others like that.I keep the Avon for me and my family to reorder  products we like. I have found out these types don’t work towards my plan.

I am trying content creation right now doing videos and blogging. The problem I am having is that you have to work on a schedule so that your content is consistent. I basically post about two to three videos a month when I should at least post at least once a week. I just started this blogging thing, but I haven’t quite figured out the right kind of content. I know most content creators do both.

I have had my sewing machine for a couple of years but haven’t really sewed anything. I love headbands. I wear them all the time and would like to create my own for sell. Also, I would like to redesign so clothing I get that is donated. I have the time to make plenty of things that I could give to people in need. I can get the sewing going by doing small projects, like headbands, then work my way up to larger items. I would love some suggestions.

Technology is really fun and exciting to me. People usually call me if they need help with their phone or computer. I have thought of consulting on a regular basis with clients that need continuous help. I have set up tutoring for free with neighbors, but they tend to take up hours at a time. I also create invoices and do research for the neighbors, of course, for free, but I thought of offering that as a service too. I love technology so much that I watch a three-hour radio show to learn more about it. I would love to do something with this.

Helping

There was a time in my life when I did a lot of relationship counseling. My friends would as advice from me. Once it was given, they would see the results and keep coming back. I set up a relationship blog, but I had no takers. I also give advice on relaxation and stress relief. I am not the expert, but I usually don’t stress or get mad. I have my technology as number one, next is Disney movies (they usually help),  if that doesn’t work, I will go somewhere that is calming. The idea is to clear your mind so that you can revisit the issues separately later.

Being homeless previously, I know there are a lot of people out there that don’t get the help they need. When I was going to school, I had to write an argument essay. It was about a problem with people getting additional assistance and a way to deliver it. My solution was a website that workers, clients, and volunteers could access and submit information. I haven’t created it because I need assistance combining the website with data. I had a resource page on one my websites, but that would not solve the problem. I know there are issues all over the country, but I would like to start small scale.

Resources

I believe I can find a resource online to walk me through how to set up a plan for each individual thought. I have looked into similar websites and site to help with creating a website for my city. It is a project by itself. As for a business, once I have made a good decision on which one I feel I can do for the rest of my life, I have an application for it. I have looked into the small home because I have been living in the for a few years and it is just starting to feel like home. Also, I need the income to start piling up first.

Feeback

Finding Magic

I have been watching this wonderful show called, “The Librarians” on TNT. It is about three runner-up candidates for the librarian position who work with a kernel from the military on quests.  This is the current Librarian and a caretaker also. The three librarians work with the guardian to form a group seeking out artifacts with magic to lock away in the library.

This is mostly about four experts in mathematics/science, thievery/technology, hi IQ/loves art, and military/leader. The caretaker has the long life issue so he is helpful in a jam. Basically, nerds and geeks unite to find magic in the world the lock up to prevent world destruction. I love this show.

Savind the World One Story at a Time

Season one the library disappeared  so the Librarian needed to find it. Meanwhile, the guardian (who protects the librarian) had to get the librarian candidates that were dead to come help with the search for magic. This was a great season.

I am a nerd/geek, so the magic, art history, technology, and the karate fights leave me in awe. There is a bit of comedy included too. This is like a video game gone wrong. There is always some history thing that is in a book they have to research, which can be brought from the library. This is a show that makes my dreams come true.

There is a scene where their enemy cuts the fabric of time and there are alternate realities, which all nerds like. Everyone in the alternate realities become the Librarian but is failing because the guardian had already died. In reality, she was dying in the original scene where the fabric was cut and therefore, cause her to be dead in all the other realities. This was so intense.

There is science, mathematics, history, and technology. With all of those together geeks are proud too. I am a lover of libraries, but I don’t read. This show makes me want to pick up one of the books in this story and start reading to learn the difference in the stories I know and the written versions. I can expand on my science, mathematics, and history knowledge. I already focus on technology daily, it just makes me notice details they are putting in the show.

This show can teach students about things they have not experienced yet because they were afraid of being called a nerd or geek. It’s okay to expand your mind in science, to learn more about history, and use technology to do so. I have gotten a great experience from this show and it isn’t over. I can keep watching for more artifacts from the past to find out where there really came from and what books to read.

Being a Senior

The Outsiders

As someone heading in the senior direction, I think they have a wonderful life. Most of them have lots of benefits like discounts and stuff. Also, there are apartment buildings that house only seniors in them to live. Of course, there are some things I don’t look forward to. I know there are some seniors that have tons of aches and pains. Plus, sometimes it may be difficult for some to move around. I know there are some that are doing great but are very lonely.

I have often thought of volunteering in senior residents just to learn so much about them. Maybe I  could create a senior blog where it talks about stories that come from them that have never been told. Also, I could learn so much from them since most of the things we go through have been done before.

In regards to people on the outside looking in, I have seen lots of people looking in on my life with all of them having different views of what they see happening. I am an open person so their views should all be the same. I think when we look at someone else’s life we should always try to picture ourselves in their shoes before we judge or think we know what is happening. I can’t wait for comments on this blog to see what people think.

Chacalit Cafe

Most mornings I wake up and make some coffee. I used to get coffee in downtown at seven-eleven. I would get hazelnut flavored coffee. I would use French vanilla creamer, four of them. I also used the hot chocolate machine and filled a large cup halfway. I filled the other half with the coffee, sugar, and creamer. I stirred the coffee and added marshmallows. This coffee got me started in creating a similar experience at home. Now I can’t stop doing.

A perfect most delicious coffee to start the morning is what I do while I check my emails. I haven’t gone to a coffee shop in years, but I occasionally do join a chatline. I want to try venturing out more, but this coffee thing I do is so great I am afraid to share it. I used to go to coffee shops with my laptop, but I no longer have one. I know it is my  fault, but you either have a desktop or laptop nowadays with a smartphone.

Busy Bustop Bench

As I stood on the corner by the bus stop next to my apartment building, some drunk men started arguing with people at the bus stop. There were two guys there. There was an older man that doesn’t live in my building, but his dad does. For this observation, we will call him Juan. The other guy is kind of young and we can call him Jeff.

This bus stop had a green metal bench and smelled of stale beer. There is a garbage can nearby that was full. Trash was all around it and no one seemed to care. This bus stop is near a major intersection, so there is plenty of traffic around. There is a drugstore across the street. A bar and parking lot sits behind the bench. A block away is a 7-11 store. There is a pawn shop on another corner.

Juan I actually have seen him drunk quite a few times. There was a young lady there and she thought Juan might have been having a seizure and she seemed to be talking to someone on the phone. Juan seemed to not really interact much with anyone. Jeff, on the other hand, was talking random things to the young lady. He started by saying “this is what happens in the hood”. She was trying to explain that she live her in this area and if he did he should show some respect for you neighborhood. The argument started to escalate to where another person at the bus stop joined in. There were at least seven people standing at the bus stop. Juan and Jeff hovered around the bench so no one wanted to sit down. This argument finally slowed down when the bus came. There was a wheeled chair coming off, but that didn’t stop Jeff from still arguing and trying fight a couple of the young men there.

I know I was supposed to stay there twenty minutes to record more of what was happening, but I thought it was time to get upstairs to my safe apartment. I do usually don’t mind sitting around recording activity, but this was too intense. An observation post is a bit hard to do.

Another observation post: A Drug Deal Gone Wrong

Yay! I Did It.

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Victory.”

Cheering-people

Removing obstacles

I needed to make sure there was less distraction in my home so that I may focus on myself. I had a couple of friends that were staying with me intermittently. I got rid of one of them at a high cost but rather quickly. The other took six months to remove, but at the expense irritation and frustrations that have built up. I am finally free!

Roquefort

The one that took the longest, I think, misunderstood the reason for him leaving. I needed to work on my issues and the side effects of my issues, but with no distractions. I allowed myself to be distracted with helping friends and not trying to hurt their feelings. The longer it took for him to leave, the harder it was going to be to hang out with him under different circumstances. I wanted outside of the home interactions with him, but now I can’t handle that anymore. It is my fault for letting it drag on so long which may me go pass my tolerance level.

I felt like my apartment was taken over by someone else and that I could only suggest things to happen here. I know, again, it was my fault for allowing it, but I became more and more vulnerable to manipulation. Even though I let myself be manipulated, I was so afraid to hurt his feelings. I also had cut out the outside activities with him due to mass interaction in my place.

Kenny

I hadn’t seen him for awhile and wanted to know if he was doing ok. I invited him over one night and it turned into a month. I then started splitting the weeks so that I could have me time. I think he believed there were other men or something else going on other than what I told him. I joined a bill with him and he felt, for some reason, that I was trying to get over on him. I showed the bill and verified his agreement, but he did not agree. We agreed on a time for him to get his things and he was supposed to pay me, unfortunately, has not contacted me since. At least, my connections with him are now over.

New Journey

Now I have disconnected myself mostly from him. I need to try to find me again because I am confused at what I am doing, how I want to look, where I want to go, and so on. I am going to start with cleaning my place the way I want then decorations. Then focus on what I am doing with my life, work or play. Finally, I will focus on what I want to look like to make me happy. I know this sounds crazy, but I let too many people detour me from my goals and aspirations by trying their ways which made me lose track of me. I am excited about this journey, even though I have started late in life.

Isolation

I was reading a post from jazzyjenness, Help the Helped and I thought of trying to be alone on purpose. I have days where I want to be alone and drown my sorrows with chocolate and Disney movies. I now have a new challenge keeping bad distractions out of my life.

I have people that want me to stay miserable and broke so they come around tempting me to spend my money or to do things that will jeopardise my living arrangements. So I have decided Isolation will help me with that. I don’t me I won’t call my family from time to time but I am eliminating visitors from my home until I am back on a good track. I binge watch tv shows, YouTube videos, and now I am blogging more than ever.

I will end this by saying I will not shut everyone out but I will keep away from anyone that is destructive to my life. I may keep in touch online but mostly my mom. I don’t know if this is healthy for me but it will help for the time being.